I assume we all make assumptions ?, and often there’s no harm in this at all. But when it comes to written communication, which happens a lot in our community (think GitHub and Mattermost) things can easily go pear shaped when assumptions are made. Assumptions going rogue can lead to anger, sleepless nights, teams falling apart, volunteers rage quitting, work not being done and a ruined reputation (for the volunteer(s) involved and for Joomla). How does this happen, and how can we prevent it from happening?

What is an assumption?

An assumption is something that you accept as true without question or evidence. It’s often something that’s seen as obvious, common knowledge or common sense, or self-evident. 

Examples:

• CMS (fill in name) is widely used, therefore it must be good
• I know nothing about code, so I can’t contribute to Joomla
• XXX (fill in name) is never wrong
• New leadership will change everything
• Any new volunteer is incompetent
• Everyone thinks I’m a PITA (look it up here, it’s the second definition)
• XXX didn’t answer, they obviously don’t care

What can assumptions lead to?

Let’s see what can happen in a totally fictional example. Meet two volunteers, Chip and Dale. Dale is a team leader, Chip is a regular contributor. We’re meeting them in Mattermost, and this is the (fictional, I can’t stress that enough) conversation taking place: 

This is what we see on the outside. But what’s going behind the scenes of this simple conversation - in the heads of Chip and Dale? And how are assumptions leading to response and eventually to Chip rage quitting?

Let’s start with Chip’s mind, right before the first post. Since I made these people up, I know exactly what is happening there:

Wow, I have a truly brilliant idea. I can’t believe no one thought of this before. I need to share it. It’s genius in its simplicity. Everyone should see that. 

I really want to implement this improvement. How do I make this happen? I’d better not start working on it yet, because all too often my ideas get torpedoed and then all my work is for nothing. 

You know what, I’ll just post it as an idea and see what happens.  

Two assumptions in this train of thoughts:

• No one ever thought of this
• People may not see the value of this improvement

Now let’s move to Dale, reading Chip’s post. What does Dale think upon reading? 

This: 

Awesome idea. I hope Chip wants to take it on. If not, which team member would be able and willing to do it? Wait, let’s not go there yet, Chip would be the #1 choice for the job. Wow, wouldn’t it be great if this would really happen?

Any assumptions going on here? Yes, one:

• Chip might not want to do it

Dale is excited and really wants the idea to come to life. This results in the post about the excellent idea.

A couple of hours later, Dale is still excited, but also a bit worried. What goes on in Dale’s mind now? 

This: 

What if Chip doesn’t want to do it? What if I misunderstood and it was just an idea, not supposed to be converted to a job for Chip immediately? 

And if that’s the case, why doesn’t Chip just say so? Why is Chip always so unreliable when it comes to communication? 
What have I done wrong? No, let’s not go there. I haven’t done anything wrong. 
But I really, really want this idea to become reality. 
OK I’ll wait a few more hours and then take action.

Any assumptions going on here? Definitely:

• Chip might not want to do it
• Chip is just being unreliable again
• Chip doesn’t want to communicate
• My response wasn’t what Chip wanted
• This improvement is never going to happen

These assumptions are all about uncertainty: Dale is insecure about pretty much everything.

By the end of the day, the excitement has grown into impatience and then action. 
Dale posts the message about taking it as a no and calls for someone else to take on the job. 

What would have been helpful?

Chip could have provided just a tiny bit more info in the initial post, instead of posting just the idea. For example: 

And then Dale would have responded with:

And that would have been pretty much the whole conversation, nothing would have been given away, no rage quitting, everybody happy. Since this didn’t happen, let’s go back to - OK to something that also didn’t happen since it’s fictional, but you get the idea - the situation at hand.

Meanwhile, Chip has been working in house at the office of a very demanding client, a one-hour drive from home under normal circumstances, but today the weather was terrible and there were traffic jams everywhere. After a three-hour drive, Chip finally gets home and has time to check Mattermost. 

What is Chip thinking upon reading this last message?

This: 

Seriously? First Dale waits a whole night before responding and then just assumes this about me? Why would I post this idea anyway if I wasn’t interested in doing the work? 
Man, I’m hungry, but I need to let Dale know this is unacceptable.

Why are these people always so fast with their assumptions? 
Us normal people have things to do, we can’t be hanging around on Mattermost all day. 
I’m dedicating every free minute to Joomla and then I get treated like this? 
That is really not OK. I’ll type a quick response and then grab a pizza.

What assumptions can we identify?

• Dale doesn’t think my post is interesting enough to respond right away
• Dale doesn’t value my input
• Dale doesn’t know how to read what I wrote
• Dale jumps to the conclusion that I’m not interested
• I’m supposed to hang around on Mattermost all day
• Dale doesn’t acknowledge all the time and effort I’ve put into Joomla
• Dale doesn’t respect me

Six of these seven assumptions start with “Dale”, so you might think these assumptions are almost entirely about Dale. They’re not. Numbers 3 and 4 are about Dale directly, numbers 1, 2, 6 and 7 are about feeling undervalued and rejected, and number 5 is an assumption about what’s being expected of contributors. 

Chip types the you’re giving away my idea post and shoves a frozen pizza in the oven.

Dale reads it and thinks: 

Oh no! I didn’t see that coming. What went wrong here? I’m in charge of the team, surely that means I’m the one taking decisions, so if I decide this thing needs to be done, I’m the one who decides who does it, right? 
Chip didn’t say anything about wanting to do this, how was I supposed to know if Chip doesn’t communicate? 
And what gives Chip the right to accuse me of making assumptions? 
I can’t let this pass.

What assumptions do we have here?

• Chip deliberately undermines my leadership
• Chip doesn’t want to communicate
• Chip takes this personal

And there it is, the it’s not about you post. 

Immediately after posting, Dale thinks: 

Maybe Chip is right about giving away the job to someone else. I shouldn’t have done that this fast. I think I need to apologize for that. 

Oh wait, Chip is typing.

Assumptions? No: thinking this whole thing through.

What would have been helpful?

Dale could have apologized anyway and not waited for Chip to respond. That might have saved the situation:

Maybe it wouldn’t have saved anything, depending on how hungry and tired Chip was, but, again: you get the idea. But clearly this didn’t happen, so let’s get back to Chip’s house:

Chip is typing, deleting, typing again, and Chip’s mind is working overtime (and getting overheated, just like - OK we'll come to that later): 

How can this not be about me? It was my idea! 
First Dale can't be bothered to respond, not even a polite “thank you, I'll look into it”, and now it's not accepted when I do exactly the same! That's double standards. 

Man, this community is so unprofessional, I don’t know why I even bother working with these people. They put people in leadership positions who don’t know what they’re doing and who are judgmental and biased. 
They couldn’t see the value of things, even if these things slap them in the face. 
This community doesn’t value me or my contributions. It never has. 
Leadership takes stupid decisions based on stupid and incorrect reasoning.

I don’t have to put up with this. 

If this community doesn’t respect me after all I’ve done for them, it’s time for me to move out. That’ll show them for ruining my enthusiasm.

Chip types the rage quit post, leaves the channel and takes the (blackened) pizza out of the oven.

What assumptions do we see? The same rejection and respect ones as before, plus:

• Dale deliberately waited hours to respond to me, so this is personal
• No one in this community respect me
• This community is full of stupid people

And (sorry Chip):

• The community will miss me when I’m gone

The million dollar question: how to avoid situations like this one?

An assumption, as the definition says, is something that’s accepted as true, without question or evidence. So if you’re not sure about what someone means by doing (or not doing) something, check, check, check. Ask questions, and use neutral language. Avoid anything that smells like judgment. 

If someone doesn’t respond right away to something you’ve suggested, always assume it has nothing to do with you. Believe me, this will make your life so much easier. 

I once had a volunteer job that involved calling people on the phone. One of the other volunteers had the habit of saying This guy isn’t answering, he’s probably baking his balls in the sun (yes, that’s actually exactly what he said), every time someone didn’t pick up the phone. I think none of the people he phoned was baking anything in the sun, but it made all of us smile each and every time he said it.

So next time you don’t get an immediate response on Mattermost or GitHub, just assume it’s because the person you expect to respond is baking some of their body parts in the sun. If the baking takes too long, send them a DM, ask how they’re doing, and then check if they read your message. Again: neutral language. 

We’re all humans, we all have insecurities, stress, real life standing in the way of things. Let’s keep that in mind before allowing assumptions to take over.